On being proud

I wrote a Facebook comment earlier tonight, and after revisiting it a while later I realize that it might not come across the way I intended it when I thought it up. I wrote that I don’t feel proud over working with other people that often, something I guess could be interpreted as “I’m so good I don’t need other people nanananana”. Which is, of course, not what I meant. There’s a lot of great people in this world that I’m humbled to even be talking to on a regular basis, let alone being allowed to work with on various projects. No, what I was aiming at was the specific feeling of pride. Maybe I simply don’t know the definition of the word, and my understanding of the entire feeling is wrong. If so, please enlighten me. Until then, here are my thoughts on being proud.

Which is to say, here are my thoughts. I mainly write them down to structure them, not because I think they’ll be entertaining to read.

Wow. I don’t say this often (because I don’t feel it too often) but I’m SO DAMN PROUD to be your colleague. Bloody well done, guys. All of you. Inside, outside, whatever – you are doing such a great job. Now I’ll sit back and read the blog.

So, being proud. What does it mean? If I was to give an explanation just from associations and intuition, I’d say it’s when you have to tell the whole world about something, and you really, really expect them to say “ooh” when they hear about it. Not “oh, that’s interesting”, and not “ow, that hurts”, but “ooh, I’m impressed”. To elaborate a bit on that, I’d say being proud means feeling and believing that other people should be impressed with you, something you are, or something you’ve done. In a sense, it’s the opposite of being ashamed of something – that would be when you feel and believe that people should look down on you, something you are, or something you’ve done. There’s a large middle ground here, though, where I’d say one’s neither proud nor ashamed; the fact that you’re not ashamed of something doesn’t mean you’re proud of it, and vice versa.

Interlude: I haven’t checked what the thesaurus has to say on the topic. I’ll do that, some day.

For me, this means that I’m not proud to be Swedish, for example. I’m also not proud of my parents. Neither am I proud to be a scout, or a member of the YMCA, or of my political affiliations. I’m not ashamed of any of these things, either. I’m very happy about most of them – being born in Sweden, with good parents, and ending up in the scout movement is definitely winning the world lottery. But the same way I wouldn’t be proud of winning the lottery (what kind of person is proud of being plain lucky?) I can’t be proud over my place of birth. For the same reason, I usually don’t feel proud over my colleagues’, friends’, or relatives’ achievements. I’m happy, and humble to be associated with someone who does great things; I’m definitely not ashamed. Non-ashamed isn’t necessarily proud, though. (I guess. I still haven’t checked my thesaurus.)

What do I feel proud of, then? When I’ve done something that I feel is outstanding. I can admit that it doesn’t happen that often, mainly because I tend to set the bar a bit too high. In the example above, I do feel proud of my colleagues achievements, though. I’m not sure why, but I’m rather sure it’s not because of my own part. It’s an interesting feeling. Maybe I should also start being proud of being born in Sweden now that I’m trying out new things. What could possibly go wrong?

Now I’ll go check a thesaurus.

Hmm, I was sort of correct. 2, 4, and half of 1 and 8. The other halves of 1 and 8, on the other hand, describe that part I don’t feel I understand – “I’m proud of you” etc. Oh well.

proud (comparative prouder, superlative proudest) #

1. Gratified; feeling honoured (by something); feeling satisfied or happy about a fact or event. “I am proud of Sivu’s schoolwork.”
2. Possessed of a due sense of what one is worth or deserves. “I was too proud to apologise.”
3. (chiefly biblical) Having too high an opinion of oneself; arrogant, supercilious.
4. Generating a sense of pride; being a cause for pride. “It was a proud day when we finally won the championship.”
5. (obsolete) Brave, valiant; gallant.
6. Standing out or raised; swollen. “After it had healed, the scar tissue stood proud of his flesh.”
7. (obsolete) Excited by sexual desire; (of female animals) in heat.
8. Happy, usually used with a sense of honor, as in “I’m so proud to have you in our town.” But occasionally just plain happy as in “I’m proud to see gas prices down.” This is a widespread colloquial usage in the southern United States.